In low tides, friends will be by your side

I know I haven't blogged in a long while, and in fact this post I wrote out and saved over a year ago but never published. I have felt pretty overwhelmed with joy lately, as I feel that writing this blog is truly a relief and release for me. I don't want it to always be a rant of frustrations, and conversely I don't want it to always nothing but happy, happy, happy. There needs to be a delicate balance, just like everything in life. So I will start with this post (a mix of both), and my goal this year will be to continue writing. I feel there will be some times coming up where I will need it and maybe you might too dear readers....

Last year, I was hit with some pretty heavy drama that left me feeling angry, hurt, and frustrated. I felt that there was no one I could talk to initially because everyone that I turn to in times of trouble are too close to the situation. So all I could do was turn to the person who is always there to listen, my Lord. I started praying and I was overcome with the urge to write my last blog post. It wasn't thought out, or planned, or pre-written- it just flowed. After publishing it, I felt a rush of peace that was completely fulfilling and I felt that in that moment I had a clear answer of what I was to do.

That day, I came home from work and I told the Viking everything that happened. Just as I suspected, like the sweet, protective husband that he is, he jumped to my defense, ruffled my feathers again, and fed my initial reaction of anger. I meditated on that emotion and I found that I despised that feeling and I knew that it was wrong. I already had been given my answer, why even consider changing my mind? My human nature is such that, I need affirmation and to convince myself that I am doing the right thing. So I again discussed it further with the Viking, sought his opinion on what I was being prompted to do, and was left with an unsettled feeling that it wasn't right. Not that the Viking's advice wasn't good, and it could have very easily worked in another situation, but it wasn't right for that one. In expressing my feelings of frustration to him, he suggested that I seek council in a friend of mine and see what her thoughts are on the subject. It was an inviting idea and one that I had toyed with, but I was hesitant in doing so. I am a very private person when it comes to affairs of my family and it is has become very hard for me to open up to others for fear of what they may think. But I needed to resolve this uneasy, desperate feeling of peace, so I bit the bullet and called her to meet for coffee.

Coffee is my comfort. It reminds me of waking up early on a cool morning, wrapped in a blanket and either reading a book or looking out over a serene view. Some of my most favorite conversations and mornings involve coffee, and it brings me to a better version of myself. My friend (we'll call her Joy) loves coffee too, and we even were first introduced over coffee. So it just made since to meet at Starbucks and have a heart to heart. She was more than willing, basically dropped everything- getting a babysitter and all- and wanted to meet that night.

As we held our warm cups of comfort, I spilled everything to her, and told her the anxiety I was feeling for it all. To my astonishment, she didn't get mad, she didn't butt in with comments, she didn't judge me for my feelings; she just let me talk and smiled. When I was finished, she shared with me that the same thing happened in her family and that it had affected relationships to the point that part of her family had never even met her youngest daughter (she was 10). She shared that it took a death in the family to bring everyone together and forced them to talk. The Lord's hand was held over that meeting, because they realized that it was such a silly thing to have such animosity and hate, and they decided that the love and memories they had were so much more important. They have slowly, within the past months, been working at rebuilding those torn and tattered relationships and are now looking forward to a family reunion over the summer.

It was a reminder to me that, in the midst of it all, the Lord is at work. We have to seek his wisdom and direction, and when he tells us to wait, we need to do just that. He gave me a peace about the whole thing and even directed me to someone who would know exactly what I was going through, and even is coming out the other side. If it takes 10 years for my family to made whole again over this issue, it will be worth it, but I have learned that I cannot let my emotional and flawed human perspective makes things worse.

Have hope dear ones, and let it anchor you to what you know to be true. Cling to those relationships that you build, and don't be afraid to reach out. After all, we're all in this together!

xoxo,
Katie Beth

The Family Rollercoaster

Family.

Noun. A group of persons sharing common ancestry.

Adj.any group of persons closely related by blood, as parents, children, uncles, aunts, and cousins 

What a multifaceted adjective describing one's kinship. That one word seems to bring an abundance of emotions as soon as it is uttered. They can be positive, happy, joyful emotions, and they can be awful, hateful, negative emotions. Have you ever heard that famous saying: "You can't live with them and you can't live without them." That seems to adequately describe some of the ups and downs you can experience. My family is no exception.

I never thought that I had a very large family growing up, because I was an only child and did not have much family living near by. Our closest relatives lived 30 minutes away, and the furthest lived in Alaska, so we were never all together. However, with marriages and babies born we have grown into a huge and thriving tree! On one side... The other side however, is split and withering- dare I say attempting to die- due to hatred, negativity, jealousy and overall conflict. It breaks my heart to see this.

My immediate family has tried to remain neutral through the whole process and I have tried to keep the spirit of peace throughout- never instigating conflict, never feeding the conflict, and doing whatever I can to resolve what little conflict follows me. My outlook has always been, you cannot choose the family you are given, and you certainly cannot change people, so why try? We have to love them anyways and I always want to be there if they ever need me. So I have tried to be encouraging and remind them that although we may not always like each other we should LOVE each other. There is a reason that God placed these people in our lives and they are a blessing overall.

However! There comes a point when you feel as though you have had enough. Harsh words are said that can never be forgotten and you are left with a feeling of emptiness and confusion. You sit back and ask yourself, "What did I ever do to deserve this?" "Why would they say such awful things?" "Why can't we all just get along?" "What happened to the times we used to share in love? The laughter, smiles and joy we shared for each other's happiness?" "When did it become so hard to have a relationship with someone? Always walking on egg shells, afraid of how they will take what I say?"

There are two ways we can look at these situations: 

1. Harbor ill feelings towards them. Stop speaking to them. Fight fire with fire. Try to expect their comments and always be defensive, always trying to protect yourself. Work at making their lives as miserable as they are making yours, because hey- they started it. Right?

-or-

2. Overwhelm them with love. Do everything in your power to send them notes of encouragement. In particular situations, if all you have is a snail mail address, go the old fashioned way and send them written notes. Do not even use your own words- let the Lord speak through you. During your Bible Study, pray for that person, or pray that the Lord reveals scripture for you to use. And then send only that. NOTHING else! In my experience, it is really hard for someone to hate you and have anything negative to say about you, when all you do is tell them how much you love them, wish the best for them, and send them scripture. If they continue to say nasty things about you, they will inevitably look crazy to the outside world, and will lose their integrity.

I will be choosing the second option to handle my current situation. I posted yesterday about how I need to be joyful in the good times, and that life was going good. The devil has used that as a foot-hold to attack me where it hurts the most- the people I love. I will not allow him the opportunity, nor will I give him the authority, to tear our family apart more than it already is. I will douse every malicious thought I have with love, prayer and patience. Patience in the Lord's timing and trust that only the Lord can resolve this. I empathize and sympathize with anyone who is struggling with this hardship currently and I pray that you will find comfort in the fact that you are not alone and there is hope. There is always hope. Love is a powerful, powerful tool- wield it wisely.

xoxo,
Katie Beth

Change is good...

This is the week of new starts and new beginnings, and I will be thankful for the opportunities that lay ahead.

Many people are getting back into the back-to-school swing of things and you can feeel the buzz of anticipation and potential in the air!

The Viking and I both got a haircut over the weekend and I feel so much lighter! My hair grows very long, strong, and straight. (And yes, I do realize what a blessing that is) It's not particularly thick, but with such long hair, it gets heavy and hot in these Florida summers. My work schedule was not conducive to blow drying and styling so just about every day I had it thrown up in a bun. I had about 4 inches cut, layered, and bang-ified and it's amazing what that will do! The Viking's hair was styled and cut back, and pampered which always is calming to the soul. I am so blessed to have a husband that will go to the hair salon with me (or the nail salon, or get massages- not afraid of losing a man card that one!) because it makes planning so much easier. I will have to post pictures of our new dos!

My schedule at work has changed back today, to a normal 8-5 pm Monday- Friday and that is definitely making me feel normal. The Viking's schedule has switched to a similar schedule as well, which is fantastic because it means that we can carpool again!! Oh how I have missed our morning talks and prayers. It makes my mood better, I'm calmer, and it saves us money because we can use my more gas-efficient SUV. Plus, there is just something wonderful and nostalgic (think about those special times that Mom or Dad picked you up after school) about getting out of work and seeing the Viking waiting for me in the parking lot.

I will be starting the endeavor of doing research for going back to school. Graduate school that is. A personal aspiration of mine that I am very much looking forward to- the nerd in me has been missing my study times. (Really? Did I just say that I miss studying? What is wrong with me?)

I love this verse from Romans, because one of my biggest struggles is remembering to be joyful in the hope of the Lord. It is one of those rare times in life where everything is going well; there is health on both sides of my family, there is love- always with some unwanted conflict, but love non-the-less, and there is hope. Even with the good things, we must be faithful in prayer, because the Lord is with us through all seasons of life and He wants to share in our joyous times, just as much as He wants to be the shoulder we cry on during our afflictions.

An adventure awaits and all I have to do is take the first step! So here it goes... :)

xoxo,
Katie Beth

Heart shaped bouquet in Shadow Box

Projects galore are happening around this house!

The one that I have finished and that I am pretty proud of is my bouquet display. It has been almost 2 years since we got married and I had no idea what to do with the bouquet afterwards. I hug it upside down so the flowers wouldn't get crushed, but then what??

When exploring Pinterest I found the following post and it inspired me:

http://thecraftingchicks.com/2010/02/rose-heart-shadow-box.html

I did not have as many roses in bouquet as she had saved up, because I used roses and gerber daisies, and the gerbers' do not last nearly as long as the rose buses. Shadow boxes were on sale at Michaels so I got it for under $20. And then I pulled out my trusty hot glue gun.

The biggest problem that I had was cutting the roses off the stem because each one of them had a wire running through them, so I had to use a pair of wire cutters. Other than that, It was pretty easy to clip and arrange. It looked rather empty with nothing in the middle so I found a picture that showcased the bouquet the day of, and I feel it turned out pretty well. 

What has inspired you lately? 

xoxo,
Katie Beth

Fun on the Fourth!

Happy Fourth of July!! 

What an exciting day! Everyone is running around, preparing for family (or going to see family), getting those last minute food items, and making sure there is enough ice and charcoal/propane for the grill. In Florida, those last two are a necessity because it is the perfect time for grilling and it is HOT! 

Unfortunately, the new house did not come with a grill, and we have not been able to retro-fit one yet (it has a beautiful cabana with a prep sink and area for a built-in grill). Our previous grill rusted out the bottom, so the Viking and I no longer felt it was safe for cooking. Rust is not commonly a welcomed spice for chicken :/ However, my dad was gracious enough to let us borrow his charcoal grill for the day, since they would not be using it on their vacation, in another part of the state. The Viking is only really comfortable with propane so he was a little nervous about using it, but he did a wonderful job cooking up some hot dogs and hamburgers! 

While he was getting that prepped and helping to get the house presentable (which was a feat in itself, since we were still working out of boxes!), I was having some fun with some Pinterest-inspired creations of my own. Since I haven't mentioned it before, I am a little Pinterest crazy, so expect to see a lot of posts centered around things I have seen there. I think it helps that the Viking appreciates it too! I will have to post pictures of my creations a little later, since it is so past my bedtime!

We were having my family from Georgia over for an early dinner and break time in between one of their trysts to the beach, and the fireworks on the water. They were a perfect test- run for hosting parties in the new home and it was a home- run! Even though they are my family and all, and there should be no judgement because we all love each other and what not, I was still a little nervous. I wanted to make sure that we had plenty of everything and that there were enough options for 14 people, including a 2-year old. It didn't help that I was woken up early to the fur children throwing up. Apparently lizards do not agree with their tummies, and that is sooooo not a way that you want to be awoken. But, we persevered and I was on my way to making a list of things that I still needed to get and things I still had to do. 

I headed out to Publix, who by the way was having some killer sales on just the stuff I needed, and tried to recenter my thoughts and work on my personal challenge. One of the best ways that I find to focus is through music- it will tug at just the right emotion at just the right time and put everything in perspective. So with that I popped in my Sheree Michele CD and I was on my way. I went to high school with Sheree and I am so amazed at her talent. She is a remarkable song writer and vocalist with a really island/bohemian feel to her music that always seems to relax me and make me reflect on Christ's love. The song that I tuned to was, Wait for You and the lyrics that hit me were "there is nothing better than being wrapped in your arms, and I know that there is nothing that you can't fix." Trusting and whole heartedly knowing this to be true, I knew that I had to relinquish my day to Him and allow Him to work through me with the time that I had with my family.  

The time with them went beautifully- it didn't rain, there was enough seating/food/drinks for everyone, and most importantly we could all laugh and love each other in the comfort of our new home. What an unbelievable opportunity we have to live in a country that is free: free to meet with our loved ones at our leisure and celebrate the blessings in our lives, celebrate the growth in our faith, celebrate the freedom to make our own choices and the freedom to go where we want without fear of strife and conflict around every corner. God Bless America and may the Stars and Stripes always fly proudly in this home. 

Happy Independence Day, friends! 

xoxo,

Katie Beth

Ladies Night

Happy July 1st!!

This past week/weekend was a busy one, mostly consisting of me with a vacuum cleaner, as exciting as that sounds!

We moved into our new house last weekend and this weekend, we prepared the old house for our new renters- a sweet young family of 4 that we have come to absolutely adore. I spent close to 12 hours straight deep cleaning the house so that the new family would not have to worry about the dogger hair- tumbleweeds, considering the mom is allergic to the dander. I was extra concerned for the kids, as they will be rolling on the carpets and I would hate for them to have a reaction at our expense.

Through the all-day cleaning on Friday, I realized something about myself. I can become VERY obsessive if left alone. It was just me in an empty house, with worship music playing for 5 hours straight, until the Viking got off work to join me. It was just the refreshing time with the Lord that I needed, and rejoicing in the fact that He stitched this whole thing together for us when we completely relied on His timing and wisdom.

Another part of my weekend was, getting lost in the world of fictional writing! I am sucker for a good book and I get completely immersed in the world/characters/plots that I read about. My office just started a book club and we rotate hosting once a month. When you are the host, you choose the book, the day we meet, and the menu (that is many times themed with the book). Our last read was Mary Kay Andrews newest release Ladies Night. It was a wonderful read, based in and around Sarasota, FL and was about a women who made her living from lifestyle blogging. She would post DIYs, recipes, and design tips. At one point she was given the opportunity to fix-up an authentic Florida cracker style home, and found love in the process of sheer chaos. It truly resonated with me on many levels. I connected with it through my Floridian roots and my love for all things vintage/historic/once loved; DIY fix- ups that I am currently looking forward to doing in the new house; and in finding something that will keep you grounded through the storms of life. When you feel as though the legs of your life has been kicked out from under you, who do you run to? The main character, Grace, ran to her mother and then eventually her new love, and ended up reconnecting with herself. That underlying theme in the book really made me think. My Sunday school answer would be "Jesus..", but is that really what I would do? My first inclination is seems would be to run to the Viking and have him tell me it will all be okay (that's what men are for right?), but what if he isn't there? What then? This got me thinking even more. Where is my head at and why does my humanity taint my instincts so much that I want to run to something else that's human and fallible, instead of the One that sees it all and holds it all so dearly to Him?

This week I have taken a vacation from the office and will be using that time to organize and truly get unpacked, so we aren't limping through the weeks sorting through mounds of boxes. I am also  going to be using that time to do some self reflection and a personal challenge to find little things to praise the Lord for as well as the big things, so that whenever anything happens (whether good or bad) I will turn to Him first. I can foresee this keeping my mind acutely tuned to all of my blessings and the perspective that His will should be the driving force in my life.

On a side note, reading that book made me so excited about using this blog more and finding such solice in putting feelings to paper, and it made me want to start a ton of home projects and document them. I will have to take that one step at a time though. :)
If you would like to read Ladies Night, I have included the link.

xoxo,
Katie Beth

Appreciating my family

In the craziness that was moving on Saturday, the Viking and I had some relaxing relief come Sunday morning. My sweet cousins from Alabama came to visit us as part of their 2 week summer vacation! We started out by going to the beach and enjoying the sun and sand just before it POURed, and then showing them the new house before going to dinner at a staple local restaurant! We laughed, we cried- from too much laughter, we ate great food, we talked a lot, but most importantly we Loved! They have always been so supportive and uplifting, that their visit was just what the doctor ordered and just another reminder of all the good that God gives, just when we need it most.

I am including some pictures of our Sunday Funday- hope you enjoy!

xoxo,
Katie Beth

The Viking, and I with my parents.

Me and my Sweetness!

The Cousins!

Art inspired metal bikes, make great props!