The Family Rollercoaster

Family.

Noun. A group of persons sharing common ancestry.

Adj.any group of persons closely related by blood, as parents, children, uncles, aunts, and cousins 

What a multifaceted adjective describing one's kinship. That one word seems to bring an abundance of emotions as soon as it is uttered. They can be positive, happy, joyful emotions, and they can be awful, hateful, negative emotions. Have you ever heard that famous saying: "You can't live with them and you can't live without them." That seems to adequately describe some of the ups and downs you can experience. My family is no exception.

I never thought that I had a very large family growing up, because I was an only child and did not have much family living near by. Our closest relatives lived 30 minutes away, and the furthest lived in Alaska, so we were never all together. However, with marriages and babies born we have grown into a huge and thriving tree! On one side... The other side however, is split and withering- dare I say attempting to die- due to hatred, negativity, jealousy and overall conflict. It breaks my heart to see this.

My immediate family has tried to remain neutral through the whole process and I have tried to keep the spirit of peace throughout- never instigating conflict, never feeding the conflict, and doing whatever I can to resolve what little conflict follows me. My outlook has always been, you cannot choose the family you are given, and you certainly cannot change people, so why try? We have to love them anyways and I always want to be there if they ever need me. So I have tried to be encouraging and remind them that although we may not always like each other we should LOVE each other. There is a reason that God placed these people in our lives and they are a blessing overall.

However! There comes a point when you feel as though you have had enough. Harsh words are said that can never be forgotten and you are left with a feeling of emptiness and confusion. You sit back and ask yourself, "What did I ever do to deserve this?" "Why would they say such awful things?" "Why can't we all just get along?" "What happened to the times we used to share in love? The laughter, smiles and joy we shared for each other's happiness?" "When did it become so hard to have a relationship with someone? Always walking on egg shells, afraid of how they will take what I say?"

There are two ways we can look at these situations: 

1. Harbor ill feelings towards them. Stop speaking to them. Fight fire with fire. Try to expect their comments and always be defensive, always trying to protect yourself. Work at making their lives as miserable as they are making yours, because hey- they started it. Right?

-or-

2. Overwhelm them with love. Do everything in your power to send them notes of encouragement. In particular situations, if all you have is a snail mail address, go the old fashioned way and send them written notes. Do not even use your own words- let the Lord speak through you. During your Bible Study, pray for that person, or pray that the Lord reveals scripture for you to use. And then send only that. NOTHING else! In my experience, it is really hard for someone to hate you and have anything negative to say about you, when all you do is tell them how much you love them, wish the best for them, and send them scripture. If they continue to say nasty things about you, they will inevitably look crazy to the outside world, and will lose their integrity.

I will be choosing the second option to handle my current situation. I posted yesterday about how I need to be joyful in the good times, and that life was going good. The devil has used that as a foot-hold to attack me where it hurts the most- the people I love. I will not allow him the opportunity, nor will I give him the authority, to tear our family apart more than it already is. I will douse every malicious thought I have with love, prayer and patience. Patience in the Lord's timing and trust that only the Lord can resolve this. I empathize and sympathize with anyone who is struggling with this hardship currently and I pray that you will find comfort in the fact that you are not alone and there is hope. There is always hope. Love is a powerful, powerful tool- wield it wisely.

xoxo,
Katie Beth

Change is good...

This is the week of new starts and new beginnings, and I will be thankful for the opportunities that lay ahead.

Many people are getting back into the back-to-school swing of things and you can feeel the buzz of anticipation and potential in the air!

The Viking and I both got a haircut over the weekend and I feel so much lighter! My hair grows very long, strong, and straight. (And yes, I do realize what a blessing that is) It's not particularly thick, but with such long hair, it gets heavy and hot in these Florida summers. My work schedule was not conducive to blow drying and styling so just about every day I had it thrown up in a bun. I had about 4 inches cut, layered, and bang-ified and it's amazing what that will do! The Viking's hair was styled and cut back, and pampered which always is calming to the soul. I am so blessed to have a husband that will go to the hair salon with me (or the nail salon, or get massages- not afraid of losing a man card that one!) because it makes planning so much easier. I will have to post pictures of our new dos!

My schedule at work has changed back today, to a normal 8-5 pm Monday- Friday and that is definitely making me feel normal. The Viking's schedule has switched to a similar schedule as well, which is fantastic because it means that we can carpool again!! Oh how I have missed our morning talks and prayers. It makes my mood better, I'm calmer, and it saves us money because we can use my more gas-efficient SUV. Plus, there is just something wonderful and nostalgic (think about those special times that Mom or Dad picked you up after school) about getting out of work and seeing the Viking waiting for me in the parking lot.

I will be starting the endeavor of doing research for going back to school. Graduate school that is. A personal aspiration of mine that I am very much looking forward to- the nerd in me has been missing my study times. (Really? Did I just say that I miss studying? What is wrong with me?)

I love this verse from Romans, because one of my biggest struggles is remembering to be joyful in the hope of the Lord. It is one of those rare times in life where everything is going well; there is health on both sides of my family, there is love- always with some unwanted conflict, but love non-the-less, and there is hope. Even with the good things, we must be faithful in prayer, because the Lord is with us through all seasons of life and He wants to share in our joyous times, just as much as He wants to be the shoulder we cry on during our afflictions.

An adventure awaits and all I have to do is take the first step! So here it goes... :)

xoxo,
Katie Beth